There’s a certain mystique to venturing out to the mission field as a single person. You’re often told how brave you are and what a sacrifice you’re making, how you can serve the Lord in a way that a married couple never could, that you should be content with your singleness. You tell yourself that you’re just doing what the Lord wants and you’ll do whatever it takes, but if you’re honest there’s also a part of you that hopes that venturing out alone doesn’t guarantee a life of productive but single service.

You’ve been on the road for 2-3 years raising your support, traipsing across the country alone, finding your way from one city and church to the next, dreaming of the day that you’ll finally get to go to the field for which you’ve prepared. You watch your statement each month in hopes that the right numbers appear that will allow you to make the final plans for departure. You’ve learned to enjoy being by yourself, to take in the sites alone, not to feel so conspicuous when you go into restaurants alone, how to be safe when traveling alone and staying in hotels. By the time you’re done with deputation, you’ve got this alone thing pretty much figured out or so you think….

The day comes when your belongings are carefully packed, your visa, passport, tickets or maps are in hand and you’ve said your good-byes to all your loved ones. You look forward and try not to look back to what you are leaving behind. You hope and pray that once you get where you’re going you’ll like it, that you will learn the language and culture, that you’ll love the people and that you will be effective. After all this is what you’ve prepared for, for so long.

I arrived in Mexico City after many months of preparation. I was more excited than words could describe; I had finally made it. I had a very definite advantage when I got here—I KNEW the language. I could talk to the people, I could understand them and they understood me. This was gonna be a cinch. I was also fortunate in that I was joining some very caring missionaries.

I’d been in Mexico City a total of 4 times before I actually moved here, but it was still new. I had not given much forethought to what the first night here would be like. I was thankful that the Burkholders did not just show me to my apartment and leave me. I would have had no idea where I was, where they were or of even how to make a phone call had the need arisen. Thankfully, Lisa and Bruce did think of this and took me instead to their home for the first two weeks.

Because of knowing the language, I was able to jump right into the ministry. Within 3 weeks of being here, I was helping to disciple my first convert. I had taught Vacation Bible School and I had helped with the hosting of a group from the US. I was on my way…this was going to be so much easier than what I thought. I already knew several of the church members as a result of my previous trips here, I wasn’t afraid to drive in the traffic (even though I still didn’t know my way around), and I knew how to get to and from Bruce and Lisa’s house from mine.

As I mentioned before, knowing the language was a huge advantage, but it takes so much more than knowing the language to become accustomed to a new place. After I’d been settled in about four months, that’s when some of the initial euphoria began to wear off. It was expensive to call home so I did that very little. The Burkholders needed their time as a family so I wasn’t over there as much as I had been initially. I spent more time at home alone than I ever had in my entire life. This is when some of the romance of being a single missionary began to wear off. What I was missing the most was the normal fellowship of having friends and doing things. (The highlight of my month was now going grocery shopping—yeah!!) I had come from a large church with a wonderful singles’ ministry; I had lots of friends and lots of activities to fill my time. Here, I had none of those outlets. Where back home I could jump in my car and just go; that wasn’t a wise choice here. I still hadn’t gotten my bearings and it was easy to get lost, not to mention the folly of going out alone in a strange city. Gone were the days of midnight shopping at Wal-mart, of calling up a friend to go get dinner, or of just getting together at a friend’s house. I am very fortunate that I do, in fact, have a wonderful support group here and felt comfortable sharing with them what struggles or discouragements that I encountered, but there are just some things that they can’t do anything about—those have to be turned over to the Lord and so I did and I do.

In spite of missing everyday relationships, my ministry here was developing in ways I could not even imagine. It is true there are many ways in which a single missionary can minister. I am responsible for our children’s ministries and that has been a challenge and a joy. I’m learning to do things I didn’t even know I was capable of doing. My ministry doesn’t extend to just our church family, it includes our missionary family as well. I’ve helped out with home schooling some of our missionary children. I’ve stayed with some of our children when parents have had to go stateside for a meeting. I’ve even been able to encourage some of our missionary wives when they get bogged down in the day-to-day matters. I’ve done my share of babysitting and I get to spend time with our teenage MK’s. I have a great relationship with our MK’s, although they have made me promise not to let their friends know I’m their parents’ age.

While most (or hopefully most) single missionaries deal with the prospect of being single their entire lives, it is still something that can serve as a distraction. We all deal with the fact that God may in fact choose to leave us single, and while that may not be our desire, that may very well be our reality. There has to be a daily surrendering of our hearts and desires to His will. I don’t think there is any way to fully prepare for the challenges that come our way, but I do know that learning to go to the Lord on a regular basis and surrendering our will is the best way to keep a balance between the perceived romance of being a single missionary and the discouragement that can come as a result of serving on a foreign field alone. It can only be joyful if we leave everything in His hands.

In answer to the question, Romantic, Discouraging or somewhere in-between, the answer is YES, it is all of those, but so much more. It is the classroom where God is teaching me to love, trust, and find my contentment in Him. So the next time you pray for your single missionaries, in addition to praying that they will find a mate or that they will learn to be content being single, pray that they will allow the Lord to be sufficient to meet all their needs and desires.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Richard & Patty Comer -  CENTRAL AMERICA
Brian & Jamie Cone -  THAILAND
Richard & Elizabeth Conrad -  JAPAN