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Rebel with a Cause Canada by Kim Kennedy I was a lonesome kid growing up. We lived in a remote area of British Columbia with few kids in our neighborhood. Playing with friends required a 10-minute ride to somebody's house. My dad forbade me being on the phone yakking with my girlfriends, so I spent most of my time by myself. at helped me to become self-reliant and creative, but it also le me wondering where I belonged, since home was o en an unhappy place. prayed before the meal. In his prayer, he specifically thanked the Lord for our being there together and he asked God to bless me. I didn't know anything about God other than this was of highest importance to Gordon. It touched me that he would care enough to include puny me in something so important. I developed into a full-tilt rebel by the time I finished high school. I had perfected the art of I told Gordon that was the first time anyone living a double life. On the surface, I looked had ever prayed for me. His answer rang in like a bright young woman with an excellent my head like a bell. He told me, “No, that's just future, but inside I was in a constant battle with the first time you heard it. I have been praying perceived failure, depression, rage and anxiety. for you for a long time.” Over that summer, My whole life had been spent trying to earn my I started to meet Gordon and Helen every dad's approval but I never felt like I had made Sunday morning at their church, and finally it. If he had tried to say so, I certainly hadn't I felt like I was starting to understand my heard it. We wasted years butting place in the world as a child of God, I was stuck heads and hurting each other. I wish created with meaning for a purpose. feeling empty. On Sunday, September 17, 1995, I now I had been able to find more constructive ways to sort that out. accepted salvation through the completed work of Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the e feeling that something was missing from preaching and teaching of the pastor who led my life colored everything that I did. I tried to me in that sinner's prayer. fill that void with a variety of friendships and In my early days as a Christian, it was easy other close relationships, yet I still felt lonely for me to understand that everyone has all the time. I always worked hard but never a sin nature, and that we must ask God's felt like my life was going anywhere meaning- forgiveness. Even if it weren't for my inborn ful. I was fragile emotionally and my temper sinful condition, I certainly knew that I had a was usually out of control. e years went by. lot to confess. e lesson that took longer for I was stuck feeling empty, and no amount of me to really learn was that God loves each of people, experiences, or stuff were ever going to fill that hole. us, even in the midst of our worst moments, in the fallout of our worst choices and even as But something amazing happened to me we're saying and doing the most hurtful things in 1995. Friends of my family moved to to ourselves and to each other. He does not like Abbotsford and invited me to come to church the sin, but He continues to love the sinner. It for Easter. I said yes to be polite, but I really took me a long time to understand the love of liked Gordon and Helen so it was easy to God is not earned and cannot be lost. His love spend some time with them. We went to their is not like human love that seems to depend on apartment for lunch a erward and Gordon our worth. It's just there—always there. And it Number 1, 2013 BIMI WORLD 25